Here's an example of how to prepare using this three-step process:1. Bill, a mail-room worker, has responded to my many warnings about his lackadaisical approach to his job by insisting that it's simply his personality. He says he may seem flighty, apathetic and easily distracted, but he's really motivated to perform well. When I've cited the many instances where he forgot to attend mandatory meetings or ignored my directives, he said what really counts is his performance rather than these "things on the side."
2. I'll summarize Bill's comments and ask, "Would you agree that's how you've responded to this issue in the past?"
3. Once he agrees, I'll say, "Bill, I understand that you see yourself as a solid contributor here, and I'm glad you want to succeed at your job. At this point, however, the challenge you face is to succeed not on the terms you've set for yourself, but on the terms I lay out-the job requirements."
- By laying down the law without taking sides, you increase the employee's receptivity. Most people will respond less defensively when they hear you summarize their views fairly. They will also appreciate your willingness to ask earnest, non-accusatory questions and listen to their concerns.
Warning: A confrontation should not degenerate into a bossy lecture. Avoid ultimatums; they usually backfire by triggering resistance. Also avoid calling attention to what you don't want to do. By saying, "I don't want to take sides" or "I'm not here to threaten you," you risk making the employee think that you really are taking sides or issuing threats. If you explain what you don't intend to do, people may doubt your intentions or simply not believe you.
- THE EAP CAN HELP: Consider meeting with the EAP to roleplay an anticipated constructive confrontation with your employee. You can plan what you will say and how you will respond to issues that may arise.
It's True! If you're convinced a confrontation will fail to produce a positive result, it'll show from the moment you open your mouth. You may listen half-heartedly, sigh repeatedly and confess your doubt that the employee will improve. To increase the odds of a positive outcome, enter a confrontation with an open mind. Imagine that you're starring in a reality television show; viewers should not be able to tell if you've lost your faith in the employee to bounce back.
|
Tip Use �Help Me Understand� statements to set a positive, non-threatening tone. Examples: �Help me understand what it means when you say you won't fight with your coworkers and then you engage in a series of fights within a week� or �Help me understand what to conclude when you commit to telling the truth about filing your activity reports and then we identify serious discrepancies.�
|